“…let him labor, working with his hands what is good…” Eph. 4:28

We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here’s a suggestion that touches the core of your husband’s world.Some women take their husband’s career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you “dump” on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.

If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you’ll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.

Yes, I have embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to David this month. When I find a negative thought coming out of my mouth, I stop, and apologize, followed by an extra “You know I love you, right?” I haven’t had to do it too many times, but even once is too many. Because we work together in the afternoons, I haven’t gotten in the habit of “dumping” on him as soon as he gets home. I work at the church in the mornings, so its usually pretty laid back and easy going there, and I usually don’t have any reason to dump my problems on him once I get out to the trucking company. Usually what happens, especially lately, is I listen to an afternoon of his remarks after hanging up from a driver, or a non-cooperative broker, or just his frustration of things not coming together like they should. I know he’s frustrated, and I truly wish I had answers for him. I have just learned that his questions are retorical, that he really doesn’t expect an answer from me, even though he asks it.I refuse to take the devil’s advocate view in this, even when I do see the driver’s side to what is happening. I let him know that I understand what he is saying, and try to encourage him that it will be ok, it will all work out. It usually does. I know he gets frustrated — with the drivers, with the circles he tries to put together (meaning, he finds a load that can be unloaded in Texas, but for it to “work” money wise, he really needs to find something for the driver to bring back, instead of driving all those miles back empty). You would think it would be a piece of cake. But, you are dealing with 13 drivers, numerous grain brokers and elevators, and with the drivers, each one of them has a list of things they like to do — and not do — and David tries to schedule them accordingly, all the while, trying to find loads — any loads — for them to do. Through in driver’s with attitude, and a dispatcher who is frustrated … you have good days, and then you have some not so good days. David does a good job — but I think the guys have lost sight of that. They only see “today”, not the end of the week, they don’t understand when they decide they aren’t going to listen to him, and leave in the morning instead of the night before … that David DOES know what he’s talking about, and is looking at the big picture. I know I shouldn’t say this, but they just need to shut up and drive. Let David do his job, and they take his direction. Thats supposed to be how it works. But, it doesn’t seem to work that way. They seem to tell HIM what they will be doing. There has been so many times, when one of the drivers has said “no, I don’t think I want to do that” — if they were working in the “real world” — telling a supervisor or foreman they weren’t going to do something, they would be out the door. What it boils down to is, David gave them an inch awhile back, trying to let them have a say, trying to be a better dispatcher because he “listens” to what they want … and they have taken a mile, and walk all over him. But. In spite of it all, he still does a good job, and they money they make at the end of each week is all due to him.And I try to let him know that, when he feels like he’s doing a poor job, or that he hasn’t accomplished anything for the day … I’ll say “do you have 13 trucks rolling down the road, making money?” — then you have accomplished alot, to keep that going. Every thing else doesn’t matter. He keeps the company going. End. Of. Story.