Serenity

PART ONE

THE GAME BEGINS

“Right Foot Red!” Bossy calls.
We laugh and step onto a red circle.
“This is nothing,” we say, “Bring it on!”

Chapter One

Twisted Sister

Whoever said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff,” never got a good look at my thighs.

I did the other day. It was not a pretty sight. I was in the sporting goods store at the mall. I didn’t intend to go in there, but I forgot where I parked my car. (I hate when that happens. It happens a lot. Especially lately.)

There I was, wandering through the sporting goods store, trying to get to an exit. That’s not easy. Have you noticed how stores are laid out these days? I’ve been shopping long enough to remember when you could make a beeline from the front door to the department you wanted and back out again. Now walking through a store is like navigating an obstacle course and requires a degree of agility I don’t possess.

Straight aisles are a thing of the past. The art of merchandising is a diabolical plot to trap consumers in the store, expose them to as many displays of goods as possible, and get them so confused and frustrated that they will hand over their wallets gladly, just to be able to escape.

So, trapped as I was, I had little choice but to wander through the displays of camping, skiing, boating, snowshoeing, hiking, biking, treading, kayaking, swimming, lifting, running, scuba diving, fishing, tennis, baseball, racquetball, basketball, football, soccer, lumberjacking, and whaling equipment. Somewhere between the fishing tackle section and the football tackle department, I found myself trapped behind a rack of tiny—TINY—swimsuits. There wasn’t enough fabric there to cover my left elbow, much less the dimpled tundra of my backside.

Even worse, I was sandwiched between the rack of tiny suits and a huge mirror. These stores have mirrors everywhere. I guess the jock-types who hang out at sporting goods stores don’t mind looking at themselves. I try to avoid my reflection but, like those people who slow way down to gawk at a freeway accident, I can’t resist sneaking a peak anytime I pass a shiny surface. (Oh admit it! You do it too.)

This wasn’t just one full-length mirror, but a three-sider. I gaped. I stared. I gawked. The shorts I’d tossed on for this “quick” run to the mall were rumpled and riding up embarrassingly. And there, hanging out like two giant stuffed sausages, were my thighs, glowing under the fluorescents like two gargantuan, pasty-white slugs under a black light. It was obvious why I no longer buy corduroy pants (Aye, there’s the rub!) or anything made of Spandex.

The tiny swimsuits mocked me from behind while the triple mirror tripled my lumps. Tripled my lard. Tripled my dimples. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.

Triple mirrors do nothing for a sister’s self esteem.

“Who ARE you?” I whined at the three women in the mirrors. “How did this HAPPEN? You used to be in great shape. You were fit and flexible, tight and toned in high school!”

We used to DANCE in high school, they reminded me.

GLORY DAYS

Standing there before the jiggling blobs of my current reality, I drifted back to those glory days of youth, when the lower half of my body actually had muscle.

It was true. I used to dance. Modern dance was one of the physical education electives in our high school. I elected it. We modern dancers worshipped at the bare feet of our teacher, Miss Jeanne, who had worshipped and studied at the bare feet of modern dance maven Miss Martha Graham, HERSELF! Under Miss Jeanne’s skilled tutelage we learned how to dance like the wind, soar like the eagle, wave like a field of wheat, and rise like the sun. All within the confines of the gym at North High.

Modern dancers, Miss Jeanne showed us, could isolate their rib cages from the rest of their torso, elevate any given body part, and stretch in ways that seemed humanly impossible (to say nothing of painful). Modern dancers had steely thighs and elastic hamstrings that allowed them to float across the floor with power and grace.

And six of the modern dancers in our class were chosen to be the horses in the merry-go-round when the senior class put on a production of the musical, Carousel. Each of us was assigned a position and a color. I was the pink pony.

Upright in pastel leotards and matching tights, we six pranced proudly, each holding in her pony forefeet a length of wide pastel ribbon. The opposite ends of the ribbons were attached to a tall center pole.

The tall pole was a girl named Jane. The least graceful horse in the class, Jane held the ends of the ribbons high as we swifter ponies trotted around her. She raised and lowered the ribbons as we raised and lowered our steely thighs in a graceful canter, moving around and around with us, faster and slower, higher and lower. At times we even reversed direction, in a dazzling feat of merry-go-round marvel.

Opening night came. Around and around we pranced. No one noticed that Jane, who’d performed her part flawlessly during rehearsals, had decided not to wear her glasses in front of the live audience. (Vanity of vanities!)

Jane, blinded and dizzier by the minute, evidently lost track of whether the pastel blur surrounding her was moving clockwise or counter-clockwise. Unable to judge the speed or direction of the herd, Jane did the only thing a pole could do. She stood still.

We ponies cantered on, not noticing until it was too late that the pole was frozen. Soon poor Jane was mummified in pastel ribbons and we horses were falling over each other as we wound ourselves closer and closer to the center. The carousel ground to a halt. So did the play. So did my dancing career.

REALITY

Snapping back to the reality of the sports store’s three-way mirror, I shuddered to realize how far my body had deteriorated—from the glorious days of fresh, lean youthfulness to the flabby nag, sagging like a feed sack of cellulite, staring back at me. The old gray mare just wasn’t what she used to be; she looked ready to be put out to pasture. Neigh.

I slunk away from the mirror, hoping no other shoppers had seen me there, in triplicate. One of me was bad enough.

Depressed, I wove my way through the rest of the store, avoiding the mirrors and focusing on the merchandise instead. I wondered why they call the stuff “sporting goods.” Most of it seemed neither “sporting” nor “good.”

Think about it. Who in her right mind binds her stiff-booted feet onto flat fiberglass slats and hurls herself down a frozen mountain, protected only by her fluffy pink jacket and matching fluffy pink headband? Wouldn’t a fluffy pink crash helmet be a good idea?

Who in her right mind wedges her oversized bottom into an undersized kayak and paddles alone out into the middle of a lake? Doesn’t she know that when the thing capsizes—and it will. It will!—her smaller top half will never be able to counterbalance the centrifugal force created by the larger ballast of her bottom in motion? She’ll be trapped there under the water, waiting to drown. Upside down!

Sporting? Good? I think not.

“What’s a girl to do?” I asked the handsome mannequin modeling the latest in Spandex exercise wear. He had no answer. He may have been a dummy, but he looked good. Everyone, it seemed, was in better shape, thinner, more fit, doing more, going faster, and running farther than I was. I wanted to scream, “Where is the stuff for girls like me?” Girls who are a little long in the tooth. A little short of breath. A little wide in the angle. A little narrow in motivation.

Just then, as if to answer my question, a peppy girl in a store uniform, bounced up to me. She was young enough to make me wonder if the child labor laws were still in effect.

“Can I, like, help you?” I could tell from her tone she thought I was beyond help. I wanted to ask her to escort me to the nearest exit and maybe help me find my car, but I suddenly felt the need to make her think I had something on the ball.

“I need to start working out. What do you suggest?” She gave me an appraising once-over and led me down a nearby aisle. She plucked a book called Walk Yourself Fit from a rack and handed it to me.

How had she guessed walking was my sport? I had decades—over 20,000 days so far—of walking practice. I was good at walking. A quick glance at the book’s back cover assured me that I could quite literally walk my way to fitness and good health. I didn’t need to do anything but walk. No need to change my diet. Walking would automatically, over the course of time, cause my thighs, indeed all of me, to shrink miraculously and painlessly.

Walking I could handle. The price of the book—$9.95—I could also handle. I was ready to head to the huge sign that said CASHIER—they make sure you can find those—when the nice young lady said, “You’ll need some walking shoes. They’re right over here…”

A hundred-and-eighty-seven dollars later, I left the store with the book and its accompanying CD of walking music. I had new shoes—a dynamically-engineered, air-cushioned, shock-absorbing pair that specialized in walking. (Did they even need me?) I had air-cushioned socks that were guaranteed to absorb the shocks the shoes missed, even if I had trouble absorbing the shock of forking over twelve bucks for a pair of socks.

I had new shorts and a matching shirt that were guaranteed never to shrink, fade or wrinkle, no matter how much abuse I subjected them to. (Oh, for a body with that kind of guarantee!) And the shorts were friendly; they promised not to pinch me, squish me, or ride up and wedge themselves into uncomfortable places. My new sports bra was positively aerodynamic and designed to hold me firmly with no sagging for five years or fifty thousand miles of bounce, whichever came first.

And with it all, le pièce de résistance: new undies that breathed. How could I resist? They BREATHED, for goodness sake! (How had I made it all these years wearing suffocating undies?)

I was set. The cashier pointed me to the exit, I eventually found my car and drove home with the sort of radiance that only a good day’s shopping can bring. I glowed all night. I was still glowing the next morning, when, headphones pumping CD motivation into my brain and clad in my new shorts, shirt, bra, shoes, and socks, and with my undies breathing the fresh morning air, I set out to walk myself fit.

Five minutes out, halfway up the first hill, my formerly-elastic hamstring twisted itself into a knot the size of my fist. I hobbled back down the hill before the first song ended on the CD, limped into the kitchen, where I sat and sipped a double café mocha with extra whipped cream for consolation.

Life is full of twists, isn’t it? It’s hard sometimes to navigate from one spot to another without getting trapped or hurt or lost. Life doesn’t seem to have clear wide aisles that allow us to flow easily from one place to the next. Lots of the things that happen to us are not what we’d call “good” or “sporting.”

And sometimes we just plain forget where we left the car, or our minds, or our hearts.

We can get ourselves all twisted up trying to keep it all together physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Sometimes we’re like the merry-go-round horses; around and around we go, faster and faster, high-stepping and showing off for all we’re worth. Sometimes we don’t notice what’s happening until we’re all twisted up in the ribbons of living and come to a crashing halt. Sometimes we don’t notice the pole standing there nearby, paralyzed and blinded by the chaos we’ve created with all our whirling around.

When we compare our lives and ourselves to what we see around us—and we so often do that—we end up feeling we’re not good enough, fit enough, young enough, smart enough, old enough, thin enough, pretty enough, spiritual enough—whatever enough—to be worth loving. Worth anything.

I’ve struggled with my physical image much of my life. I’ve often felt awkward, clumsy, or just plain ugly. Sitting there in my kitchen I could hear, in my mind, all the names I’d called myself, and all the names I’d imagined or heard others calling me, over the years.

Thunder Thighs. Whale Woman. Blubber Butt. Flat Chested. Slope Shouldered. Squinty Eyed. Flat Nosed.

What have you heard? How have you felt?

God has another perspective.

As I sat there, with my leg propped on the chair next to me to stretch my twisted muscle, I remembered something from the Bible about me being “fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Are you serious, Lord? I asked, gazing down at my cheesy thighs. This is fearfully and wonderfully made? This body?

Yes, I heard him whisper to my heart. This.

Is it possible? Can it be? “I created your inmost being…I knit you together in your mother’s womb…You are fearfully and wonderfully made…” he says. Can it be true?

Can God really mean that about me? About you?

Yes. This timeless truth is the beginning of our healing, our deliverance from the worry and doubt that plagues us. This is the beginning of new life, of a powerful sense of self—realizing that it is God—Almighty Creator of the Universe God—who created us—you and me—and God who loves us. That this physical body, whatever its size or shape, whatever “flaws” we think we have, is a work of genius.

If God thinks you’re a work of art, who are you to argue?

Fearfully and wonderfully made, dimply thighs and all—I am a masterpiece of his design, beautiful in the eyes of my Creator. He’s called me by new names. To him, I am Beloved. To him, I am Delightful. To him, I am Wonderful.

And so, dear reader, are you.

For everything God created is good…

1 Timothy 4:4

POINTS TO PONDER

Powerhouse or Powder Puff? Describe your experience as a “student athlete.” What do you remember about gym or physical education classes?

Have you ever been called a name? What did the experience teach you? Have you forgiven the name caller? If not, when will you let it go?

God loves you and he delights in you, according to Zephaniah 3:17: “The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Which truth from this verse is most meaningful to you today?

Today’s Wild Card author is:

Babies complicate life, but the human race can’t survive without them. Maybe I should write that on the dry erase board out in the waiting room—Dr. Rachel Donovan’s Profound Thought for the Day.

Ever notice how some months are all about weddings? When you turn on the TV or pick up a magazine, everything is white tulle and old lace. Then there are what I think of as baby months. Unlike June and December for weddings, baby months can pop up anytime.

And here in Shady Grove, Arkansas—just in time for summer, when the irises are pushing up from the ground, the new leaves are green on the trees, and the crepe myrtles are starting to bloom—we’re smack dab in the middle of a baby month.

I finger the latest birth announcement on my desk. One of my patients just had her fifth child. You’d think, at this point, she’d be sending out SOS messages instead of announcements, but the pink card proudly proclaims the arrival of her newest bundle of joy.

The front door chime signals the arrival of our first patient, so I send up a silent prayer for the baby. Then my eyes fall on the family picture on my desk.

Lord, please be with Tammy, too, in her pregnancy.

My thirty-eight-year-old sister was so thrilled when she called a couple of months ago to tell me she was pregnant and so scared yesterday when the doctor put her on temporary bed rest.

While I’m on the baby thread, I mention my friend Lark who is desperate to adopt. I say amen, steadfastly ignoring my own out-of-whack biological clock.

My receptionist, Norma, sidles into my office like a spy in an old movie, softly shuts the door and turns to face me, her brown eyes wide. “Whoever warned mamas not to let their babies grow up to be cowboys,” she whispers, “never saw the man in our waiting room.”

“What?” I absently flip through the small pile of files on my desk. Not long ago I remodeled my entire clinic—repainted the walls with calming blues and browns, added new chiropractic tables and new waiting room chairs, and even got solid oak office furniture with nifty little cubbies. For about a week I could find things.

And did she just say the word babies? What did I tell you? It’s one of those months. “Do you know where Mrs. Faulkner’s file is? I thought it was here, but I can’t find it.”

Norma raises her eyebrows. “You saw her after hours Tuesday night, didn’t you? I think it’s on my desk waiting for charges.”

Now I remember. “No charge,” I say automatically.

She puts her hands on her hips. “C’mon, Doc, you can’t fall for every sob story you hear.”

I grin. “We make it, don’t we? If I can’t help out a sixty-two-year-old woman who lifts and bathes and cares for her grown son around the clock, then I’d just as soon not be in practice.”

She shrugs. “You’re the one who has to worry about paying your bills. I get my paycheck regardless.” Her round face lights up and she motions to me. “Now come look.”

Norma’s always slightly out of sync with reality, but today is shaping up to be odd even for her.

“At the man in the waiting room,” she clarifies, as if I’m a little slow. “You have to see him.”

“I usually do see everyone who’s in the waiting room, don’t I? Eventually?”

She blows out her breath and folds her arms. “It’ll only take a second.”

“Who is it?”

She shakes her head, her short brunette curls springing with the movement. “I’m not telling. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

I sigh. I know I’m the boss, but once Norma has something in her head, it’s easier just to go along with her. She turns to lead the way out to her desk where a large window overlooks the main waiting room. I promise she’s tiptoeing.

“Hey, Nancy Drew,” I say quietly.

She jumps and spins around. “What?” she hisses.

I grin. “Let’s try not to be so obvious.”

She presses her back against the wall and motions for me to go ahead of her. I saunter to her desk. Right on top is the file I was looking for. At least this wasn’t a wasted trip. I retrieve it while I give the waiting room a cursory glance. The cowboy chooses that moment to look up, of course. A slow grin spreads across his face.

I fumble with the file and almost drop it.

Jack Westwood.

I don’t believe it. Alma Westwood could give the-little-engine-that-could lessons in persistence. I return his grin with a quick professional smile and—holding the file high enough that he can see I had a valid reason for being there—walk back to my office.

Norma is right on my heels. She closes the door. “So? What did I tell you? That’s Alma Westwood’s son. The rodeo star.”

“I know who he is.” I toss the file on my desk and plop down in my chair to look at it.

“You know him?”

I shake my head. “We were friends when we were kids, but I don’t know him really. I’ve just seen his picture in the paper like everyone else.” And since he moved back a few months ago, I’ve seen him around town enough to know that women fall all over themselves when he walks by. Definitely not my type. Which is one reason I’ve avoided him.

“Oh yeah. His hat was shading his face in that picture.” Her brows draw together. “Which is a cryin’ shame.”

I look up at her cherub face. “Hey, remember old What’s His Name? The handsome guy you’re happily married to?” I grin.

She shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I’m blind. Besides, you aren’t married.”

Thanks for the reminder.

“So when Alma signed in, she said she brought her son to see her new X-rays.”

“How nice.” Not that I’m falling for her flimsy excuse. Alma is just one in a long line of Mama Matchmakers. My patients with unmarried sons seem to take my singlehood as a personal affront. Ever since Rodeo Jack moved back to run his family ranch next door to my parents, Alma has upped her efforts
to make me her daughter-in-law, or at least reintroduce me
to him.

Don’t ask me why Jack needs his mama to fix him up with someone in the first place. Norma is not exaggerating. He was passably cute back when we were kids, and he’s one of those men who gets better-looking with age. If he’s lost any teeth or broken his nose riding in the rodeo, he’s covered it well. Not only is he a real cowboy, but he could play one on TV. Last week at the diner, I was two tables away from him when he smiled at the waitress. For a moment I was jealous that the smile wasn’t for me. But only for a moment.

Then common sense kicked in. Me and Jack Westwood? Not likely. Which is just as well, because on a less personal note. . .a chiropractor and a rodeo star? What a combination. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to fix the mess he makes of his body. Besides, I can’t imagine myself with someone whose belt buckle is bigger than his IQ. And even though he seemed smart when we were in school, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who’ll willingly climb on a bucking bull over and over is a few calves short of a herd.

Still, it’s my job to educate patients and their families about their health. I turn back to Norma. “After you put them in a room, pull Alma’s X-rays for me, okay?”

Norma starts to leave then smacks her forehead with the palm of her hand. “Oh, I almost forgot. Lark Murray is on line one.”

I glance at the phone. Sure enough, line one is blinking. “Thanks.”

Never mind that we let Lark sit and wait while we sneaked a peek at Alma’s cowboy son. Norma marches to her own drummer, and I run along behind her trying to stay in step.

I reach toward the phone, and for a split second, I consider having Norma take a message. Lark is one of my three closest friends. I’m a few years younger than the rest and came late to the Pinky Promise Sisterhood group they formed in childhood. But ever since the night they found me crying in the bowling alley bathroom, the Pinkies have been family to me. We share our deepest secrets and craziest dreams and—now that we all live in Shady Grove, Arkansas, again—regular face-to-face gabfests.

And any other day of the year, I’m happy to hear from any of them. But this particular anniversary day is always filled with awkward conversations. They never know what to say, and neither do I.

I snatch the handset up before I give in to my cowardice. I’ll just make it short and sweet. “Hey, girl.”

“Rach, I’m so glad I caught you. I was afraid you’d already started with patients.”

“No. Sorry you had to wait.” Here it comes. The gentle “You okay today?” Or the “Just called to say hi and wish you a good day for no particular reason.”

“I can’t take this anymore.” Her voice is trembling.

Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “What?”

“The waiting. Why do they make us go through an in-spection worthy of a Spanish Inquisition if they’re not going to give us a baby?”

I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding and sink back onto my chair. Lark is focused on one thing and one thing only these days, so thankfully this call isn’t about me. “They’re go-ing to give you a baby. They’d be crazy not to. These things just take time.”

“You sound like the caseworker.” She sighs. “I called her last night even though Craig didn’t think I should.”

“Lark, honey, I know it’s hard to wait now that you’ve finally decided to adopt. But you’re going to have to. God has—” My throat constricts, but I push the words out. “God has the perfect baby for you.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” She must be upset, because that’s definitely a bit of a whine, something she never does.

“Has He ever let you down?”

“No. But maybe I was right before. Maybe it’s just not His will for me to be a mom.”

I thought we’d settled all that a few months ago when she showed up on my doorstep late one night with a suitcase because her husband wanted to adopt. Still, I can totally relate to old insecurities sneaking back in when you least expect them. “You’re going to have to think about something else for a while, Lark. Are you helping Allie today?”

“I’m supposed to. I was thinking about seeing if she can make it without me though.”

“How are y’all coming along?” Our Pinky friend Allie Richards recently won the Shady Grove Pre-Centennial Beautiful Town Landscaping Contest and consequently landed the town landscaping maintenance contract for the year. She has some real employees now, but during the contest her crew consisted of Allie’s brother, Adam, Lark, me, and our other Pinky, Victoria Worthington. So we all have a vested emotional interest in TLC Landscaping.

Lark sighs. “We’re swamped trying to get everything in perfect shape before the centennial celebration really gets going. I guess I really should work today. I know Allie needs me.”

Good girl. “You know what your granny always said—a busy mind doesn’t have time to worry.”

“You’re right. I’m going to have to trust God to handle this and go get ready for work. Thanks for talking me down off the ledge.”

“Anytime.”

“See you tonight, Rach.”

“I’ll be there.” When the connection is broken, I close my eyes.

Lord, please give me strength to face today.

I open my eyes and push to my feet. Time to cowgirl up.

v

As soon as I walk into the adjusting room, Alma stands. “Dr. Donovan, I’m sure you remember my son, Jack.”

Jack holds his cowboy hat in his left hand and offers me the right. I promise I expect him to say, “Ma’am,” and duck his head. “Dr. Donovan,” he drawls, and from the boy who used to pull my braids, the title sounds a little mocking. “Nice to see you again.” As we shake hands, he flashes that heartbeat-accelerating smile again.

“You, too.” His hands are nice. Slightly calloused. Working hands, but not so tough that they’re like leather.

I look up into his puzzled brown eyes and then back down at his hand, which I’m still holding. Behind him, his mother beams as if she has personally discovered the cure for every terminal illness known to humankind. I jerk my hand away. Should I tell him that I always notice hands, since my own hands are what I use most in my profession? Or would he think that was a pickup line? I’m sure he’s heard some doozies.

Better to ignore it. I slap the X-rays up on the view box then focus my attention on Alma as I point out the key spots we’re working on.

When I finish, Jack crosses the room in two steps and points to the X-ray. “This increased whiteness is arthritis, right?”

My eyebrows draw together. “You’ve had experience with X-rays?”

He shrugs and gives me a rueful grin. “Occupational hazard.”

Of course. “In any case, you’re right. It is arthritis, but no more than normal for someone your mother’s age.”

“Thankfully, Dr. Donovan keeps me going. Otherwise I’d be like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz,” Alma pipes up from her chair in the corner.

“To hear Mom tell it, you’re the Wizard of Oz,” Jack mutters, still standing beside me. He turns to Alma. “Your X-rays are normal?”

Her eyes open wide. “Yes.”

“Totally normal?”

She blinks at him. “Isn’t that wonderful?”

“Yes, but—”

“I thought you’d be pleased to know your old mom was going to be getting around without a walker for a few more years.” Alma’s voice is soft and sweet.

He frowns. “You know I am. But since Dr. Donovan has apparently already explained these X-rays to you, you could have told me that on the ph—” He stops, apparently realizing that I’m like a reluctant spectator at a tennis game, watching their verbal volleying.

“But this way you can see for yourself,” Alma says with a satisfied smile.

He opens his mouth then closes it and nods.

Game, set, match to Alma.

I turn back to her. “Any questions?”

She smiles. “Not a one. Thank you so much for taking the time to go over this with us.”

“I’m always glad to help you understand your health better.”

“I’m going to go freshen up before we head home,” Alma says. And just like that, she’s gone, leaving me with her son. No doubt the whole point.

“Jack,” I say in what I hope is a coolly professional voice, “thank you for coming by.”

He nods. “I’m sorry we wasted your time. I don’t know why I’m surprised this was a setup. Our mothers have been singing your praises ever since I got back in town.”

“Our mothers?” My mother and I barely speak, and I’m certain she’s never sung my praises a day in my life. At least not since I was a teenager.

“They make you sound like Mother Teresa and the Alberts all rolled into one.”

I raise a brow. “The Alberts?”

“Einstein and Schweitzer.”

I can’t keep from laughing. “Now that’s an appealing combination. And don’t forget the Wizard of Oz.”

“They’re probably not far off, actually. It’s just that—” He runs his hands around the brim of the hat he’s still holding. “Thanks for being a good sport.” He grins. “And at least now when we see each other at the diner, we can say hello.”

A hot blush spreads across my face. The curse of being a redhead. I blush easily and at the oddest times. It’s not like he knows I was admiring him the other day while I was waiting for my food. At least, I sure hope not. “True.” I open the door and step back for him to go through.

“I guess I’d better go. I’ll just wait for Mom out here,” he says dryly and saunters down the hall.

“Not a moment too soon,” I mutter under my breath and retreat to my office for a few minutes. The last thing I need is a blast from the past. Especially in the form of a rugged, sweet-smiling cowboy.